Orange and Brown
by hystericalselcouth
Summary: AU: Faramir has always been alone, but will he be able to fight his demons and rise above his inhibitions? Rated T for Angsty!Faramir ! "He looked at the orange and browns of the bed sheet, blinking slowly and at regular intervals. He didn't remember noticing tears fall from his eyes and gently roll down his cheeks. "
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own this character. Or the series. **You** know who does. *rolls eyes*

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Faramir had retired to his rooms for the night.  
He didn't really like the bed, not that the bed was uncomfortable, but he didn't like beds in general. He didn't like the feeling of lying down, or helpless rest.

It had been ten years since Aragorn was crowned King. Faramir had accepted change, he had even grown to love his life, but there always was this emptiness within him. Ten years of hard work had finally paid off, the kingdom was stable and for once, everything was as Faramir would have liked it to be. Except, of course, that void which had grown to cause him a particular numbness.

He had started to slip up in his work. That morning was the first time it had been clearly noticed and talked about with the rest of the Council. The Councillors and the King had tried their best not to be rude or upsetting, but the message was clear - Faramir, the Steward of the King, had to pull his socks up.

Faramir sighed. He crossed the room and sat down at his table. He moved the papers in front of him away and cushioned his head sideways in his crossed arms . The orange light from the fire seemed to complement his mood. He knew he was failing in his duties, it was clear for all to see, but the fact that Faramir found it hard to improve _despite knowing_ how to improve was the problem here. It was almost as if he didn't want to improve, but he did want to, he really did. He found it hard to finish drafting official documents on time, he found it tough to attend court, he found it challenging to do any kind of work at all, really. But Faramir knew it was not just work. It was hard to wake up in the morning, it was hard to get dressed, it was hard to eat breakfast and walk out of his room. It was hard to look people in the eye, it was hard to talk to them, it was hard to stand and follow court procedure. It was hard to live through banquets and hunting trips, it was hard to look interested. It was particularly hard to talk to the King and Queen. When in public, formal titles and talk eased him a little, but when _Aragorn_ and _Arwen_ wished to talk to him... it got very uncomfortable.

Faramir sat with his head on the table and in his arms, and looked at the four-poster bed , the thing that was in his line of vision. His mind was blank as he sat there, still and unmoving. He looked at the orange and brown of the bed sheet, blinking slowly and at regular intervals. He didn't remember noticing tears fall from his eyes and gently roll down his cheeks. Some touched the wood of the table and others did not. Instead, they took the route that let them smooth his dry lips. He sighed.  
He made no move to wipe them. He made no move at all. He made no move to understand why he cried when he was alone, why he felt like not moving. He had simply accepted it, the same way he had accepted it when he was that tender child after a telling off from his father.  
He did not keep count of the minutes that passed that way, but he eventually closed his eyes and entered the land of slumber, just like the previous day and the day before that. Just like he would cry himself to sleep the next day and the day after that.


	2. Chapter two - Familiar Faces

**Nope...still not mine**

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Faramir pulled his tunic closer around him as he walked into the courtyard. The chill of the winter mornings still lingered on as the year progressed into a mature spring. He walked up to the line of people with their backs towards him. With a small smile and a nod of the head, he took his place next to his King and Queen. He stared ahead at the large gates in front of him as the rest of the Councillors and staff arrived after him.

Eomer, the King of Rohan and his sister, the Lady Eowyn, were to arrive in the next couple of minutes. It had been a busy winter with the preparations for the King's tenth anniversary of coronation keeping everyone on their toes. Aragorn was not one for too much festivity, but the entire kingdom had been waiting for an occasion to celebrate not only the victory of the king, but also their new lives and happiness after those days in the darkness of Mordor. Faramir had been swimming in the piles of work that had found its way into his rooms and he had just about been able to get through all of it.

The loud flourish of trumpets shook Faramir from his thoughts and through the haze of the morning, the King and Lady of Rohan entered the city of Minas Tirith. Eowyn and Faramir had met before, in the Houses of Healing. Their illnesses had made them good friends, but they had not risked a closer relationship. Over the years, their correspondence was limited to formal dignatorial purposes and nothing more.

The King and Queen moved towards Eomer and Eowyn as the latter fluidly jumped off her saddle. Elessar and Eomer beamed as they grasped each others arms.

"Fifteen years is too long a time, dear friend." said Aragorn.

"Ay, but not too long for a merry drink, Elessar!" replied Eomer with a chuckle.

Both burst into laughter as they mocked their introductions.

"It is good to see you well, Lady Eowyn," greeted Arwen as the two women embraced.

With a graceful smile, Eowyn replied, "As it is to see you, Queen Arwen."

Faramir stepped forward to carry out formal procedure.

"King Eomer, I hope your journey was comfortable?"

"As ever, Prince Faramir!" replied the King, with a cheerful smile on his face.

"Prince Faramir, it is a pleasure to meet you again after so long!" exclaimed Eowyn as she stepped forward.

"An honour, Lady Eowyn."

Eomer's chief advisor, Rhowyn, and Faramir rode together behind Arwen and Eomer, who in turn were behind Aragorn and Eowyn.

Flocks of people had lined the road to the palace and the city was in full swing. Cherry blossoms and confetti mingled in the air and the sun had come out, its golden rays piercing the clouds. Faramir could hear Aragorn and Eowyn laugh while he exchanged polite conversation with his counterpart. By the time they had reached the palace gates, the morning had grown warm and Gondorian spring was at its best.

Once the guests were shown their rooms, Faramir returned to his own and changed into something lighter and decided to finish off some of the previous day's work. _"Maybe this might not turn out to be so bad,"_ he thought, and placed the unappealing stack of papers in front of him.


End file.
